Monthly Archives: February 2011


We live in Tucson, Arizona.  It is warm and beautiful, but very dry.  Because of this, we love it when it rains.

And not that this has anything to do with my story, but I just thought you all might like to know that my personal opinion is that nothing smells better than desert rain.  Not strawberries, not coconut, not fresh laundry, not vanilla, pine air does come close, but still no cigar.

Anyway Derek and I get excited when the weather report calls for rain and we get super sad when it lies.

This weekend the reports called for not just rain, but the possibility of snow, and happily they weren’t lies.

It was beautiful

and cold

and it rained

and it snowed

and it was awesome.

Too bad it did it in the middle of the night and I slept through it, because I love to watch it rain.

When my bladder woke me up at 7am Sunday morning, I peaked out the window and was excited enough to wake up Derek and tell him, but not excited enough to do anything but pee and crawl back into warm cozy bed.  Derek got up and took pictures from the comfort of inside and then crawled back into bed.  It is because of Der that I can share our snow.

Our backyard.  (There is no real shooting range.  I promise.)

To people who live where it really snows this is laughable, much like Phoenix’s mountains are really just hills with ego compared to places with real mountains.

Later that day we went to the zoo.  I know we were just there on Friday, but we have a membership so it was free to get in and we LOVE it there.  I would go there at least once a week if it were closer to where we live.

Plus we wanted to show Derek the crazy squirrels.

It was too cold for the squirrels, but we still had fun.

We Petz’s have freaky animal magnetism.

Some may argue that it’s just because we always seem to be carrying food, but I prefer to think that they just like us better than other people.

This guy followed us around for a bit.

And this weird-looking little guy was nibbling on Jeremia’s sleeves and fingers.

Ami got to conquer the rock and strike a pose.

We discovered a whole section of the zoo we can’t remember ever having been in before.  That was super Twilight Zonish.

We found some hatchlings.

And I struck a pose with the lion that had just been stalking Ami.  Ami would have been this lions afternoon snack if not for the glorious fence in between us.  This pic is to commemorate my love for the strong fence builders of America.

Tomorrow:  Pork Roast!

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Filed under Entertain Me, On The Cheap, So Random

Let’s Go For a Walk.

I was bored so we went for a walk.  We stopped at the school playground to run off some energy.

I love Conrad’s little head popping into the frame.

Ami said “Maaam this is the second best day I ever had.”

Simon says pick your nose.

Sliding down the rails like a ninja.

Making memories.  That’s what we’re doing.

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Filed under Entertain Me, On The Cheap, Rodents aka kids

Best Day Ever!

It is Rodeo weekend.  In Tucson that means instead of getting Presidents Day off kids get that Thursday and Friday off.  T-town takes its rodeo very seriously!  There is even a big parade.  We haven’t been to the rodeo yet.  We never seem to have enough extra money this time of year to justify the cost.

We went to the zoo instead.  We have a membership so it was free.  Our zoo is my favorite of all time.

I could sit and watch giraffes and their gorgeous eyes, crazy long tongues, and adorable faces for hours.   The boys really love animals and have no fear.

That’s Jeremia feeding him a carrot.  Ami and Conrad fed their carrots before I had my camera ready.  They were too excited to wait.

We had a coupon to feed the giraffes for free.  I love free.

Then rocks were conquered.

Max A Million was in attendance.

I am not sure how Ami escaped without having to strike a pose.

I gave the kids granola bars as a mid zoo snack.  That helped them make new friends.

Well hello there.

The boys were strong.  They did not feed the little beggars.  I wouldn’t have been able to resist.  I probably would have gotten kicked out and labeled the crazy squirrel lady for feeding them every morsel I could find.  Luckily I was too busy taking pictures.

Jeremia wasn’t having any fun.

Clearly he was terrified.

Good times!


Filed under Entertain Me, On The Cheap, Rodents aka kids


One of the perks of Derek’s job is that he gets to drive a different car home everyday.  We are all spoiled because of this.

Ami is in love with Bumblebee from Transformers.

So when Derek got Camaros in at work he brought one home.  It was red, but the boys all knew it was the same kind of car.

They all took turns sitting in the driver’s seat.

They loved it.

And then I made them get in the trunk.

And I made each one verbally promise that they would never climb into another trunk because it’s dangerous.  I am expecting my mother of the year award any day now.


Filed under Rodents aka kids, So Random


I have been going back and forth trying to decide how much I want to blog about. How personal do I want to get?  I am an extremely open person, but I worry that at some point I might become the over sharer.  I don’t want to be that person, but I do want to be brave and honest.  Also I want to be respectful to my readers whether I have 1 or 100 and disappearing for a solid week with no explanation isn’t fair.  I want this blog to be fun and upbeat but I also don’t want it to be a lie.

I have been battling depression since my teens.  Different things are triggers.  Some of the causes are huge and clearly worthy, but others are much more vague and shame filled.  As I have gotten older I have tried a multitude of coping skills and treatments.  I have tried everything from denial to medication.  This blog in fact came to be as one of my attempts at pulling myself out.

I felt a depression moving in around November.  I was putting up a good fight until January.  That’s when I fell straight down into the pit.  I wallowed in it.  I somehow managed to put together a housewarming party mid month but cried for two days straight afterward.  Even though I had been surrounded by people I loved, I felt alone and lost.  I knew I was in trouble.  That’s when I started going into def con, all hands on deck, emergency evacuation mode.  I started trying to claw myself out of the excruciating darkness.

Depression is a very funny thing.  The more depressed I am the more I withdraw.  My form of withdrawing is sleep.  I stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning and then sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon.  After a while I don’t know if I sleep because I am depressed or I am depressed because I sleep.  I do know that it sucks and that the more I hate it the less I want to fix it.  Hopelessness is a very dangerous feeling.  I thrive on hope.  I need it.  When I don’t have it, my brain goes to BAD places. Non-productive, self loathing places and the cycle continues.

I am full of a lot of pain and anger.  I have an unfortuate habit of trying to ignore it. I become a pressure cooker and when I don’t figure out ways to let the steam out I explode.  It’s always more of a pain in the ass to clean up the aftermath than it would have been to let it out, but I seem to forget.  I must be slow.

Currently I am in clean up mode and trying my damnedest to pull myself out of this dark place I am in.  Like so many things it is a take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back process. Last week was rough, but  here I am today, nails digging into the sides of the pit pulling myself out one inch at a time.


Filed under Brain Stew

The simple things.

Lunch with the girls.

Watercolor painting on the back patio in such gorgeous weather.

Date night with the hubs.

Weekend with my sissy.

Good times!


Filed under So Random


Shopping Goodwill takes patience.  You can go five times in a row and not find a single thing.  It can be discouraging.  It can also be addicting.  Derek and I know where every Goodwill is located in Tucson.  We have been to all of them.  We have favorites.    We are junkies.  Thrift stores in general are close to our hearts, but Goodwill is the nearest and dearest.  Because there is so much to take in, you must have a good eye and focus.  I have walked past awesome finds only to have Derek come right behind me and ask me if I saw the amazing whatever. It’s a fun game for us.

We hit the mothaload today!

It’s a paper-cutter.  They sell for about $350 give or take.  Der spotted this in the box.  Brand new, still covered in protective film.

When he showed me, I was hesitantly excited.  “How much?”  That can be hit or miss with Goodwill.  Sometimes you wonder if they think they are selling pure gold and other times you wonder who was crazy enough to mark it so cheap.  This was the latter!  *She squeals enthusiastically*

An awesome bargain is to me as a fresh crack rock is to a crackhead.

You are reading that price tag correctly. $39.99.

But it gets BETTER!






*She squeals more enthusiastically!*

As in we got a brand new Cricut Expression for the low, low price of 20 bucks!

So here’s what I think about that

It took me three tries to make that.  What a fun toy.  There will definitely be some learning from trial and error, but I am really stoked about all of the things I can create.

Happy dance!  Woot woot!


Filed under Feeling Fartsy