Last night, while Der and I were in our room putting our sneakers on for a walk, I found Sampson (our 17-year-old putty tat) stalking something. Aha! We found a lizard tail! But where’s the lizard? Der and I looked everywhere for the tailless creature to no avail.
We decided to let the lizard find his own way and continued getting ready for our walk, before we left I had to take off my shoe because I had something in it. A tissue for sure. I am a tissue junky. I leave a trail of kleenex wherever I go. Not like a Hansel and Gretel trail, but you can always tell where I have been, so it made perfect sense that the lump in my shoe was an AWOL tissue.
I sat down, took off my shoe and shook it out.
Wasn’t I surprised when a disemboweled lizard fell out!
Of course we couldn’t find the lizard! It was in my shoe! Which was on my FOOT! The WHOLE TIME!
I gasped and burst into tears.
I murdered him. He thought he was safe. He had craftily escaped from the maniacal feline by using the old “lose the tail” decoy move, only to meet his demise in my shoe by my, thankfully, socked foot. Poor fella. Derek consoled me, reminding me that I had no idea the lizard was in there.
All day today I walked around wearing the “death shoe” thinking what a murdering, murderess I am.
I blame Sampson! He can’t help himself. He thinks he is a lion, but we all know the truth.
He is the Great Sambini and he thinks cameras are L-A-M-E and plotting murders is awesome.