Um Yeah, So This Really Happened

What is it with kids and their sudden need for your attention whenever you pick up a phone, sit down with a book, or step into the bathroom.  It’s like they come equipped with poor timing devices.  I know I had one when I was a kid.  They must come standard.

So a few weeks ago, when Conrad tapped on the bathroom door, my brain was like “What now?!”.

The moment I heard Conrad’s voice though, I knew it was important.

With a somewhat quaky voice Conrad says, “Excuse me mom, but Piper ate my tooth.”.

Thinking I had to have misheard him, I said,  “What?!”

He obligingly repeated himself and then went on to describe the scene.

He explained that he found Piper playing with the treasure chest he had gotten from the dentist.  Earlier that day, he had a tooth pulled and the dentist gave him one of those small plastic treasure chests with his tooth in it.  He’d put it under his pillow for the tooth fairy and somehow Piper’d gotten ahold of it and now the tooth was missing.

Naturally I didn’t want to believe she ate it.  We launched a full-scale search for the tooth, but came up empty-handed.

This felt like the perfect time to tell Stacey all about the time when Keegan was 3 or 4 and came and told me he swallowed a penny.  In the very next breath he told me not to worry, because he swallowed a magnet to catch the penny.  We rushed to the Dr. who sent Keeg for X-rays that showed nothing.  They sent me home with instructions to sift through his poop.

Keegan refused to poop for 3 days, because he didn’t want to poop in a bowl.  After the 3rd day I gave up and figured if it was going to cause any damage it would have already, and let the poor kid go to the bathroom in peace.

While I was recounting that story to Stacey, Conrad became somewhat panicked.

He had come to the realization that no tooth meant no tooth fairy.

Because I am the loving, caring, and wonderful mom that I am, I told him he’d have to sleep with Piper’s diaper under his pillow if he wanted the tooth fairy to come.  He studied me, trying to figure out if I was kidding or not, realized I was and then waited for the real solution.

I told him he’d just have to write the tooth fairy a note, put it under his pillow and she’d understand.

So he did and the good old tooth fairy came through like she always does.

The very next day I was walking through the kitchen and stepped on, of all things, Conrad’s tooth.  Phew!

I hope Stacey’s not too afraid to come back to this nuthouse.  And as usual I am waiting for my mother of the year award.  It should be here any day now.

Conrad and Piper, weeks before the Great Tooth Fiasco of 2012.

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